THAT'S IT!
by TheSkivate'sTheLimitNatty
Summary: The characters are sick of each other and will bite their tongues no longer! Up Now: INATOR TO DOOFENSHMIRTZ.
1. Ferb to Phineas

"Ferb I know what we're gonna do today!"

"Yeah, I'm sure you do, you triangular headed dunce. Maybe I wanted to decide what we do today. Did you ever think of that? No. You never think about what I want. We have the funds to prevent natural disasters and cure cancer, but no. You'd rather screw around and build roller coasters and crap. You don't even know where you own pet is, like seriously? Take some responsibility! But no, you're just like _I'm sure he's fine! He's probably not dead! _...While we all look at you because you're an idiot. ...And you need to stand up to your sister! Tell her to mind her own business and go play with her boyfriend, also tell her that no one wants to stick anything inside of crazy! Speaking of which, you need to get your own love life in check! You are pathetic and can't even see that a girl has a stinking CRUSH on you! Isabella's practically THROWING herself at you! I swear you make me sick... Someday I will end your pathetic life. Just you watch….Screw your existence Phineas Flynn!"


	2. Linda to Candace

"Mom!" Candace called. "Phineas and Ferb are-"

"Candace, shut up. You're always talking about what they're doing, well what are _you_ doing? Can't you leave them alone? Stop being a snitch. That's the crap I don't like, seriously. You need to be riding your boyfriend Jeremy, that's what you need to be doing…"

"MOM!"

"What? You act like you never hear me and your father from your bedroom."

"Mom, that's disgusting! You guys had sex in my room?!"

"You don't have that long neck for nothing, you know. You get that from me."


	3. Phineas to Isabella

"Whatcha Doooi-"

"Chilling! Damn! Why are you always worried about what I'M doing? What the fuck are YOU doing? And stop calling me! Making my parents think I'm dating! I got THE TALK from a British man! Do you know what it's like to get THE TALK from a British? …It's not fun! They're too polite…about EVERYTHING! It sounds like this: Oh…! …I'm sorry. Oh…! …I'm sorry. Oh…! …I'm sorry! …IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"

"I just wanted to know what you were doi-"

"-AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"


	4. Inator to Doofenshmirtz

_**Authors N****ote: This is what over 24 hours no sleep gets you.**_

_**~Natty**_

* * *

"…and you know how I've never been able to grow facial hair and everything. Never have been, never will be able to, anyway- I'm not kidding. This is actually an illness. I know, I was surprised too! At first I was like, that's an illness? My doctor said it was, but you know I really didn't believe him. You can't trust people, Perry the Platypus. You just can't. I didn't even want to SEE a doctor. I wanted to be my own doctor, but Vanessa made me get my own. I don't know what the big deal was, I was her doctor for years. I had to stop though because Charlene got fed up and said that I was crazy and that our daughter needed to see a REAL doctor- I AM a real doctor by the way, I have that plaque…Don't roll your eyes at me! It's a real degree! Doesn't matter what the tag says! I really could have been my own doctor! Anywayyyyyyyy…Back to my eeeeevil scheme!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz sang a high note and pulled the sheet from over his latest invention. "Now!" He shouted over nothing. "Behold the wrath of my Mustache-inator! With this baby I will steal all the mustaches in the ENTIRE Tri State Area! Isn't that so deliciously eviiiiiiil, Perry the Platypus? Hm?"

The machine was literally a pole with a giant bushy brown mustache attached to it. Oddly enough it had a mouth.

The platypus just stared and blinked at it from his scissor trap. He was dangling from the ceiling buy a rope in between a pair of gigantic scissors. Every few moments they would close a little more. He'd have to get out of them soon before he was beheaded.

"I named him Musty!" Doof said. "I named him that as a shorter version of the word mustache, also because I made him out of a bunch of clippings I found of hair on the local barbershop floor. I'm gonna stand back a bit…cuz he does smell kind of bad and I-"

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Musty cried, smiling.

"Oh cool!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz pointed. "It talks! And in an accent too! Score! This is so COOL Perry the Platypus- Hey, how did you learn to talk like tha-"

"Hey, Hey, Hey! Shut up!" Musty grinned widely at the doctor.

"Wait what? What do you mean SHUT UP? You can't tell me to shut up! I created you!"

"Yeah, yeah. The crazed man created me. I sure am proud!"

"Crazed?! I'M NOT-"

"Seriously, stop talking. You'll hurt that pea sized brain of yours." Musty said and then said in Perry's direction. "Man, where do they find this guy?"

Perry shrugged in his ropes.

"Oh so now you're turning on me too Perry the Platypus?" Doofenshmirtz asked. "Is that it?"

"Hey, hey, hey, so what if he is? What's it to you? Huh, goofy?"

"I'm not goofy!"

"Hey, hey, hey. Yes you are. Everyone thinks so."

"They do not…" Dr. Doofenshmirtz pouted.

"'Course they do, doc. Look at you. You made me. I'm goofy so you're goofy too. It's only nature, hey, hey ,hey! Look at you! You're everything a successful evil scientist isn't. You're fat, ugly, and hey! Look at that! You've got a degree! Good for you, big nose!"

"You know, the things you're saying are really hurtful." The scientist told the machine. "And you're lucky I'm not paying attention to it, or else I'd be really-"

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"What?"

"Hey! Shut up!" Musty the Mustache-inator grinned and started to pogo bounce around the lab on his pole, singing. "_Hey, hey, hey! What a good day! Hey, hey, hey, let's go play! Hey, hey, hey this doc needs a smock! Hey, hey, hey! Get out of the way! Must, Must, Must! Musty hates dust! So get out the way, Doctor Day-Day! You're such a waste of space! Hey, hey, hey! Let's say grace! Doctor Day-Day needs a wake in the face!_"

"Stop it…" Dr. Doofenshmirtz' lip quivered. "You stop it, right now, you big bully!"

Musty kept singing and bouncing. The bouncing caused the apartment to shake, along with Perry's trap. The rope he was hanging from swayed and swayed until it reached far enough to cut on the edges of the giant scissors. The platypus was free.

"_Oooly, Oooly, Oooly!_" The inator sang. "_This doctor needs a noogy! Ookey Ookey Ookey! Doc looks kinda spooky! Fatty, fat, fat, fat! A big hand needs a clap! Sap, Sap, Sap, Sap, Sap! He'll never be on the map! Pap, Pap, Pap, Pap, Pap! Never be a good father! Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap! Probably doesn't even lather! Lap, Lap, Lap, Lap, Lap! Can't even make one! Fake, Fake, Fake, Fake_- AGGGGggggggg…."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz held his hands over his eyes in his fetal position on the floor. He scowled. "What's the matter? Run out of rhymes to assault me with? …Hello?"

"Krrkrrrrkrr" Perry chattered at him and he opened his eyes to find the Mustache-inator deactivated and his nemesis standing in front of him with a worried look.

"You…You unplugged him." Dr. Doofenshmirtz blinked. "Thank you Perry the Platypus…"

The platypus nodded his you're welcome, but then the doc exploded.

"WHAT THE HECK, PERRY THE PLATYPUS? WHY'D YOU LET HIM SAY ALL THAT MEAN STUFF TO ME WHILE YOU JUST SAT IN YOUR COMFY TRAP AND DID NOTHING? YOU WERE TOTALLY ON HIS SIDE! THAT'S NOT FAIR! I'VE KNOWN YOU LONGER THAN HE HAS, I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! THAT ISN'T WHAT FRIENDS DO TO EACH OTHER, PERRY THE PLATYPUS! THEY DON'T WATCH EACH OTHER GET HURT. I WOULD HAVE STOOD UP FOR YOU! NOW I KNOW WHAT KIND OF GAME YOU'RE PLAYING AT. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU ANYWAY? IT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO STOP HIM BUT IT ONLY TAKES A FRACTION OF THAT TIME FOR YOU TO STOP MEEEEEE! AND STOP BREAKING ALL MY STUFF! WHY ARE YOU SO COLD, PERRY THE PLATYPUS? WHY? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU?! NOTHING, THAT'S WHAT! I'M ALWAYS NICE TO YOU, YOU FAT, DUCK-BILLED, EGG LAYING, MILK SWEATING, FLAT-FOOTED, BIG NOSED, FLAT-FACED, RECTANGLE SHAPED, DUCK-LOOK ALIKING, JERKKKKK! I HOPE YOU DIE, YOU FREAKKKING LITTLE BASTARD! THERE'S AN OUCHEY IN MY HEART, NOW!"

Perry's mouth hung open wide.

Doofenshmirtz crossed his arms smugly. "-and we're not friends anymore either!"


End file.
